The things a cat steals
by medusalan
Summary: Cute, kiddy-friendly cat/bat. The cat has a slightly unusual target for her next theft.


The Gatto Club. Those three little words were strong. Powerful. Earthshaking.

After all, they could make both Bruce Wayne AND Batman flinch.

Bruce Wayne flinched because he was expected to make an appearance at the official opening of 'The Gatto Club' as the richest playboy in Gotham. This one promised to be worse than the usual foppish function, however- the owners of this establishment claimed to be allergic to suits. Witness the cutesy name- the Gatto club purported to be the 'Ghetto for Gotham's celebrity class' who apparently needed ' a venue where one can dress casually and have fun without leaving one's usual neighbourhood'.

Public Bruce Wayne was expected to be there and like it. Private Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, just thought it yet another piece of snobbery on the Gotham skyline- an elitist ghetto, for crying out loud.

Batman quietly banged his cowl against the wall. The Gatto club, whether they liked it or not, had made themselves into a huge rogue target- specifically, a huge Catwoman target. Gatto, aside from the 'upper class' respelling of ghetto, also meant 'cat' in Italian. No way was a certain feline of the Gotham night scene going to sit this party out. He doubted that the 'informal' dress code would prevent a certain purple leather catsuit making an appearance.

The worst thing was, Batman couldn't even narrow down the possible Catwoman target to one item- she could 'legitimately' go after the till money, the back safe, the valuables checked in the cloakroom, the jewellery on the women present, or hostages for ransom – all whist staying to her theme. Depending on how ambitious she was feeling, it might even be all of the above. Wearily, he rubbed his temples- he'd been over this list so many times even the iron concentration of the bat had been broken. The preparations were all made, anyway- whilst the Gatto Club staff were putting the final touches into the hors d'overs, Batman was coordinating the emergency procedures he had organised with Robin and Batgirl. Dick was inside as one of the serving staff tonight- the Club had taken on a few temps to help with the opening night crowd. Batgirl would be outside on surveillance. And Bruce… Bruce sighed as he straightened his tux. Bruce Wayne would be inside, smiling vacantly at the men and leering at the women, desperately wondering where the Catwoman was hiding tonight.

The first few hours went as expected- Bruce arrived dateless for once, something he did periodically to prevent himself running out of shallow bimbos in the near future. His red jag had swerved to the front of the red carpet, been met by the doorman and the flashing bulbs of the press cameras. Flashing the trademark playboy grin, Bruce sashayed down the strip. Once inside, however, it was Batman who locked eyes with the young waiter who brought him a drink- after the brief glance at Robin, however, Bruce looked back around him, heading towards the tables.

A lithe purple figure stretched silently, supple and strong, from a rooftop overhead. Her mouth curved in a satisfied smile, and she even purred quietly. Below and in front of her was an oblivious Batgirl, who was carefully quartering the skyline. Such a cute baby bat. Selina knew that in about twenty seconds the girl would be gone- a patch of purple on a far rooftop would only be the start of a long wild goose chase for the bat child. Right on cue, Batgirl started obviously, then began to run wildly across the rooftops- out of the way. Catwoman smiled even wider- one down.

She slipped into the Club via a back entrance- one day people would understand that yes, these ventilation shafts are indeed big enough for a person to slip through. Until that day, however, Catwoman rather liked the cliché- if the ridiculous hollywood movies did it, then she knew the bat wouldn't suspect it of a professional.

Her target was the manager's office, abandoned and locked whilst the manager circled with the VIPs outside. She headed towards the safe, but her plans were not perhaps the ones expected of her. The Batman would have Robin on the case as well as Batgirl- and she only wanted to deal with the boss tonight. To help flush Robin out, she placed a small device into the alarm incorporated into the safe, keeping the remote control in a pouch on her skintight costume. Mission accomplished, she exited the same way she came in, vaulting back into the air vents. In just a few more minutes, she'd have what she had really come for.

The safe alarm went off exactly two hours after the party had started. Both Bruce and Dick stiffened suddenly, then disappeared from the party. Seconds later, a fully costumed Robin ran towards the manager's office. Batman, on the other hand, had run the other way- out onto the rooftops and to the other side of the building from the alarm. There was no way that the Catwoman would ever set off such an obvious circuit. It just didn't happen. She was, first and last, the best burglar in the business. Thus, it had to be a distraction for the real crime. That was as far as his thought processes got, before the ground gave way beneath him, the false floor dropping him into a net below it- to within almost arms length of the Catwoman.

Selina purred as she watched the Batman fall. She knew she didn't have long before he extricated himself from the net- not unless she wanted to do something drastic to keep him there. But a minute was all she needed. With a feminine sway of her hips she drew close, made certain that his arms and legs were, for the moment, too caught up to be able to fight. She laughed as her fingers reached out and framed his face through the coarse webbing, claws flashing dangerously close to his throat as she cut the strands away from his head.

" I knew you wouldn't fall for the alarm. Oh, and don't worry- I didn't do anything to Batgirl. She's just on a tour around the city. She should realise that she's been following a false trail in an hour or so. And by the time that Robin realises that the safe is unopened, I'll be long gone."

Batman stared impassively back at her.

"So what are you after then? You've not stolen anything yet."

She smirked.

"Not yet… but I'm about to."

She reached close, put one claw under his chin to bring his mouth to hers. Batman didn't know what to do- he had never dreamed of being kissed in costume. For the moment, Bruce was lost, too.

It ended, and Catwoman's green eyes sparkled at her prisoner.

" Well, I'll escape now. Unless you follow me and try to steal it back?"

Batman just watched as the laughing purple figure vaulted from rooftop to rooftop, swinging occasionally from her whip. He brushed the sliced netting from himself.

Batman smiled- a scary sight. Maybe he would take his stolen kiss back someday.


End file.
